From mt1w+@andrew.cmu.edu Sun Sep 18 13:18:52 1994 Return-Path: Date: Sun, 18 Sep 1994 13:12:21 -0400 (EDT) From: Michael Trick To: Outbound News Subject: Nontraditional Wedding Summary Cc: trick@mat.gsia.cmu.edu Hi All! While more of a lurker than a poster, I found the discussions on this board very useful in planning our wedding. For what it is worth, I have prepared the following summary of what we did (since we thought everything came out wonderfully) in the hopes parts may help someone else. Costs have been included (some things done cheaply, others not), since that seems to come up all the time on this board. [Deleted from this version]. Some background: Ilona and I had been living together for about six years when we decided to get married. We decided in late July for an early September wedding (i.e. not much time). We live in Pittsburgh, though I grew up in Canada (Winnipeg) and Ilona is German. We decided to get married in the backyard of our house, and have about 50 guests. The wedding would start at 4, cermony at 5, buffet dinner, and continuation until people leave. INVITATIONS. No time or interest in formal invites. We went to a local mall and got the characaturist to draw a black and white picture of us. I scanned it in and used word to create an invitation (picture above relatively formal wording "request the pleasure" etc.). The phocopier place charged us 6c a page for some nice heavy paper and we got two invitations per page. In view of the time limits, we requested phone or email replies. A copy of the invite (which we thought came out great) should be on my www page (http://mat.gsia.cmu.edu/ at the bottom after all the Operations Research stuff) in a day or so. JUSTICE. The local District Judge (who we had never met) agreed to come out to perform the ceremony. He refused any money above the fee ("I am an elected official"), so: SITE. Ilona spent the month before the marriage getting the backyard looking wonderful. She arranged for a fence around the property, made a gorgeous trellis to be married under and worked on flowers and lights, and everything to make things look nice. She compressed a year's worth of work into one month. FOOD. We really lucked out here. A friend from the local bar was just starting out in her own business after working for a caterer for many years. She wanted to do things just right, but was extremely easy to work with. She would set up a grill and we had: shrimps with prosciutto lamburgers with goat cheese chicken breasts with mixed peppers grilled salmon assorted grilled vegetables a couple types of salad types (a rice mixture and a lettuce salad) This would be set up as a buffet. For later in the evening, a second buffet would be set up consisting of cakes (we provided five cakes bought from a local dessert shop) cheeses peppers snacks crackers The caterer provided three people (including herself) to serve, bartend, and so on. We also arranged for a dishwasher at a separate cost. ALCOHOL. We bought the alcohol and other drinks ourselves. It's kind of a drinking crowd, and alcohol doesn't really go to waste, so we went a bit overboard: Champagne: 6 magnums of Korbel Extra Dry Wine (all 1.5 litre): 2 red, 6 white, 4 white zinfandel, all Mondavi Woodbridge (on sale at the liquer store). Beer: My favorite part. 9 different cases of American small brewers, including Pete's Wicked Ale, Saranac, Penn Pilsener, and more Other: nonalcohol beer, sodas, mineral water. We also bought 150lb of ice, but ended up needing about 200. Leftovers: all the champagne went (half a bottle leftover)and all the red wine. We ended up with 3 bottles of white and two of white zinfandel. We also had 4-5 cases of beer leftover. RENTALS. We rented a mixture of 4 and 6 people tables, chairs, plates, glasses (wine and champagne), silverware, and so on. FLOWERS. Nothing fancy. A rose for Ilona to carry, carnations for me and my dad, more fancy single flowers for the mothers. MUSIC. We wanted a bagpipe player, but there was a competition that weekend, and anyone who was very good (and a bad bagpiper is _really_ hard to listen to) was unavailable. We splurged and got a good jazz duo (sax and keyboard) for an hour and then planned on tapes provided by a friend. TUX. I rented a tux for the day. More on Ilona's clothes in a bit. DESCRIPTION OF DAY. OK, enough of the purchasing, here's how the wedding went: On the day of the wedding, the gang staying at our house (about 15 people: the top floor was packed like cordwood) put out the tables and covered them with colorful plastic covers (bought at a $1 shop) and strung streamers. We also blew up balloons (we had a helium tank) and tied them about. With all the flowers in the backyard, we really didn't need to do much decorating. At about 11:30, Ilona and the mothers went to the hairdressers (Ilona's mother, who speaks no english, had seen this in movies and was thrilled to be part of this "tradition"). At about 2:00, the caterers came, set up their tables and set up the bar. At 3:45, the jazz duo came, and got set up. At 4:00 (the time on the invitation), guests started showing up. Ilona and I met them at the front and then steared them to the back. At 4:45, Ilona disappears to get organanized. I greet a final few stragglers. At 5:02, the justice arrives (maybe I should have insisted on a little something for him!) and we hustle him to the trellis. I then go to the back door of the house to wait for Ilona. She comes out in a dress that could stop traffic! It is all sequins and shimmery and looks great on her. We walk together to the trellis, face the crowd, and the justice does his thing. It takes about three minutes. After the ceremony, my older brother gives a toast to the couple (quoting from Ogden Nash), my father gives a toast to the bride (attempting some German along the way), Ilona's mother gives a toast to the groom (translated by a friend who knows a bit of German), a friend recounts an embarrassing story or two before a group of them provide a Canadian toast (they pull out caps and gloves and scarves and toast that way), and we finish by thanking the crowd and recognizing the out of town guests by name. Overall, the toasts and stuff took about 20 minutes. Champagne was passed out immediately after the cermony and was refilled during the toasts (with sodas and so on for those who do not imbibe). After a slight delay, the buffet was ready (she grilled along the way: it was not all predone). The food was outrageous, much better than any food I had had at a wedding (or even most restaurants). Seating was unplanned, which ended up in some strange tables (my parents sat with my real estate agents, and had a great dinner). Ilona and I traveled from table to table to try to talk to everybody. Even with only 50 people it was not easy; I don't know how people with large weddings do it! We had placed disposable cameras liberally about, which went over very well. The pictures are surprisingly good. My brother videotaped the cermony, and was very unobtrusive. As the sun went down and the lights and torches came on, the backyard was a wonderful scene. It had been a gorgeous day, and the weather was perfect all evening. Music for the evening (tapes after the duo left) started with jazz and got stranger as the evening wore on. At about 8, some people started to leave, which is about what we expected. Others stayed until about 1 A.M., particularly when we brought out a bottle of tequilla at around 9. Ilona and I left about 9:30 to go to a local hotel: with 15 people in the house, we wanted to be on our own for a bit. The caterers did most of their cleanup by midnight. The dishwasher did a great job. Of course, the rental plates did not have to be cleaned as well as he cleaned them, but it was great not to have to think about them. Since the caterers did most of the cleaning, the only thing left to do was to refold the tables and chairs, which took about 10 minutes the next day with the crowd of people we had at the house. Overall, it was great! We probably spent a bit more than we wanted, but I think we spent it in good places. By working with a new caterer, we got someone enthusiastic and willing to please. By doing things at home, we had a bit more control than I think we would have elsewhere. We had some of the same problems others have complained about. Three people RSVPed "yes" but didn't show. One thing that was not a problem was kids: we invited all of them, and about half came (for the others, the parents wanted a night out). They were great! With an outdoor wedding, they had plenty of room to roam, especially since our neighbors were at the wedding (including the couple with the three kids and great swingset). I'm really glad we had kids around OK, that's about it. Sorry to go on for so long. We did end up with exactly the wedding we wanted, and I hope some people may find our experience useful. Mike Trick ------------------------------------------------------------- Graduate School of Industrial Administration, Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, PA trick+@cmu.edu http://mat.gsia.cmu.edu/ -------------------------------------------------------------